


The Perks of Milking Mini Cows

by LivingScratchingPost



Series: Perks 'Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 'nice guy' gets brutally murdered by cow, Attempted Rape, Case Fic, Discussion of Biphobia, Discussion of Infidelity, F/F, F/M, Greek Mythology - Freeform, I am a Hera apologist, M/M, Sam has seen 15.18 but not the Latam dub, Sastiel fake marriage, Their love was real, all in the prologue, first chapter from POV of a 'nice guy', homophobic slur, mini cows, off screen phone sex, with Destiel fake adultery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:55:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29666211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivingScratchingPost/pseuds/LivingScratchingPost
Summary: When Eileen asks for help with a case in a small Texas commune, Sam decides he and Castiel should get fake-married while Dean gets a job taking care of the mayor's small herd of miniature dairy cows.For the 'Their Love Was Real' challenge, prompt "myth"
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Series: Perks 'Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046629
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12
Collections: Their Love Was Real: a Destiel & Saileen Fanworks Challenge





	The Perks of Milking Mini Cows

Argos, TX  
Approximately 9 months ago

Chad Howard was washing his hands in the barn shop when he heard a woman scream. He threw down the towel he was drying his hands with and rushed outside. It was dark in the street outside the dairy barn, a sharp autumnal nip in the air. The only light came from the sputtering lamp above the door he had exited and the windows of the nearest houses.

Surprisingly, it appeared that none of the neighbors had heard the scream, or if they had, none of them cared. The street was empty. Chad almost began to think he had imagined the scream, when he heard another scream and a woman’s voice crying for help. It was fainter than before, and now he realized it seemed to be coming from the direction of the milking parlor. He barreled back through the office. He had left Ella alone in the milking parlor to clean up while he bottled the milk. If someone hurt Ella, he’d never forgive himself.

But if he saved her from danger, he thought, as he threw open the door to the milking parlor, she would have to be grateful. She would owe him. She would have to--

Chad was halfway down the steps to the milking parlor when the scene below him registered.

He could see quite clearly, thanks to the LED lights installed in the ceiling. Ella was not in any apparent danger. She and her mother stared up at him across one of the cow’s backs. It was the fluffy white one with horns. He could never remember her name.

“I heard a scream,” Chad said.

“Io stepped on my foot. Everything’s fine!” Ella explained. She smiled that beautiful smile that never failed to make his knees go weak. “We appreciate the concern.”

“Do we?” her mother muttered disdainfully. She had never liked Chad; he suspected she sensed his crush on her daughter. Fair enough, Chad hated the old bat right back. He often wondered how a girl so pure and sweet could have come from such a mean and bitter old bitch.

“What are you doing down here?” he asked.

“We’re inseminating Io,” Ella chirped back, ignoring her mother.

“Do you need help?” he asked.

“We’re good, but thank you,” Ella answered, still smiling that lovely smile.

“You sure? Those horns—”

“Do you have experience with artificially inseminating cattle?” Ella’s mother snapped.

“No, but—”

“Then shut up and let us do our work,” the old hag barked.

Chad considered staying and arguing but Ella shook her head at him. No point in ruining his chances with Ella by getting in a fight with her harpy of a mother. So he left them to it.

Argos, TX  
Less than a month ago

It had been over 10 months since Chad had met Ella and still she had not bothered to return his romantic attempts. At first he thought she must be simply innocent, a sweet virgin child, naïve to matters of a sexual nature. But recently he had realized, she was teasing him. In recent days, she had taken to wearing very revealing clothing, tank tops and shorts.

Every day Chad found himself so painfully hard that he had to pleasure himself multiple times a day. He was near a breaking point. The constant arousal was driving him insane.

It was in late June that he broke. Ella was wearing a pale blue tank top with a neck cut low enough to show the top of her cleavage and short shorts that showed him her lower thighs and pulled tight across her exquisite ass. So really who could blame him for answering her tease and pressing her up against the feed trough while they waited for the cows to come in for milking?

Well, Ella, apparently for starters.

Before Chad’s lips could crash upon Ella’s, something cold and sharp pricked his belly. He looked down, to see a bronze dagger in Ella’s hand, the tip resting threateningly against his belly button. He couldn't see where she had been keeping it. He looked up, to see thunder writ across the young woman’s face.

“Come on, you’re dressed like that and you expect me to—”

“I’m dressed like this because it’s hot,” Ella intoned coolly. "That is all." 

Chad stepped back, jaw agape. Turned out she really was related to her horrible bitch of a mother after all.

He raised his fist to strike her, but quick as a snake, she grabbed his wrist and twisted it viciously until it snapped and he screamed and dropped to his knees before her. Her face was cold and impassive as she stared down at him. “Mother will hear of this,” she said, flatly, and stepped around Chad as though he weren’t even there.

“Whore!” Chad spat, blinking back tears. “Bitch!” He didn’t fear her mother. He didn’t fear Ella, either. He was a man and they were but females and everyone knew men were superior in almost every way (except for the pleasure they could give him in bed, he was obviously not a fag).

He would eat those words hours later, as he choked on his blood beneath the hooves of an angry cow.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was really hard to write. Chad's mindset was very eugh and bearable only because I got to kill him at the end. His personality was inspired by YouTube compilations of r/NiceGuys posts. 
> 
> I'm still working on the first draft of the rest of this story. I wasn't able to finish it in time for the challenge but I'm hoping to be able to start posting within the month! I promise there will be a lot of Destiel and some Saileen!


End file.
